In the words of Benjamin Franklin [Tact and Tactfulness]: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
First, let’s talk about the whole “strong woman” / “alpha female” topic.
In American culture, movies and media, there is a strong push for an archetype of the “strong woman.” How many movies have you seen where a woman acts like a complete pain in the ass the whole movie and the protagonist dude chases her around the entire movie like a puppy dog?
I’ve even seen it in a children’s movie (I think it was “How to Train Your Dragon”). Guys with any power to choose will actively Why would a guy want to choose a negative influence in his life?
I am bringing them up to highlight that our culture has a huge misconception of what is actually desirable.
Before certain members of the audience accuse me of being a “misogynist” or “degrading to women”… I am not advocating some old-fashioned viewpoint that women should be nice, quiet, agreeable creatures who exist solely to please their husband.
In fact, what I talk about goes for men and for women. And I can tell you – they don’t walk around all day thinking about how they’re alpha. You can have your desires met without demanding them.
What I’m advocating in this post is to identify behaviors masquerading as admirable traits. If you feel that you are attracting emotionally unavailable men to you, I suspect it could have to do with some of these behaviors. If you have any behaviors that could be construed as bullying, demanding, disagreeable or controlling, then you’ll do best to lay them to rest. And you can have compliance without intimidating the other person.
Why would he want to invite someone in who minimizes him and doesn’t appreciate him.
Other than true masochists, guys who have choice don’t want this.
I bring this up because often times when a woman tells me she’s an “alpha female” or “strong independent woman,” alarm bells go off in my head.
Reason being: Now, I’m not saying all of this to accuse you of being these things.